The Mommy Score Card

Should I induce?
Should I have a c-section?
Epidural?
Home birth or hospital birth?
Breastfeeding or formula?
Vaccinate my child or no vaccinations?
Stay at home or work outside the home?
Am I a bad mother because I dont get to participate in mommy groups, mommy and me yoga, library time, music class for baby, mommy and me swimming, etc?
Do I smile at her enough?  Talk to her enough?

I recently read a blog somewhere that talked about the mommy score card.  I thought thats such a clever way to put it.  I never really thought about it like that but all moms and probably dads do it.  Its like I add a plus or a minus to everything that I think I am doing or not doing. 

Here is my scorecard on a regular day:
Big ++++ for breastfeeding
++ for making Harper's baby food
Big fat minus minus minus because I work outside the home, plus add in some guilt.
Slightly smaller minus because I had an epidural and I feel like a wus.
A minus here and there because I miss out on fun stuff like mommy groups and zoo time or whatever.
I usually have several plus's and minuses throughout the day for being patient or not being patient.

I say this in no way to be offensive or to sound judgmental.  I have many "minuses" that often try to outweigh the pluses.  I guess this is why being a mom, however you do it, is the hardest job you will ever have.  I wonder what my friends "scorecards" look like and how we can stop keeping them!  I am striving to let go of the feelings that are not productive in my daily life.


I thought this was a nice way to think about things. 
 

Imagine a great Oak Tree. It knows where it stands,
and it holds powerfully to its position. But it
doesn't defend its position -- it's simply *there*.

You can drive a car into the massive trunk of the
...Oak Tree, and the car will be smashed while the tree
remains standing. It's not standing *against* you, and
it doesn't take your destructive behavior personally.
It just remains rooted... focused... present.
Unconditionally.

Now imagine that *you* are the Oak Tree... How does it
feel to be so powerfully positioned? Isn't it nice to
know that no one can uproot you? Would you even bother
to resist? Or would you simply relax and enjoy being
right where you want to be?

Next time you feel "uprooted" by your child's
behavior, emotions, or any other conditions, remember
the unconditional presence of the Oak Tree. Stand
rooted in the ground of infinite Well-Being.

There is nothing to resist... All is well.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle