Well, its been awhile.

Apparently, I havent blogged since Harper was almost 10 months old.  OOPS!  I was never very good at keeping up with a diary or journal.  Anyways, Harper is now almost 16 months old!  I cant believe it.  So much has changed.  We had a HUGE first birthday party for our sweet angel and it was perfect.  We dont think we will ever do one that big again but it was awesome to see how loved our little girl is.  She got lots of toys and clothes.  Her favorites have been her pink Little Tikes car and her wood alligator that she drags behind her.  

I guess I should update some of her milestones too!  Harper started walking right at 11 months.  And, within a week was RUNNING!  At this point, there is no stopping her.  She hugs the puppies, crawls up on the couch or in her little chair, she waves bye bye and even says bye bye!  I cant believe it.  One day, about a month ago, I handed her a bowl of mangos and she said in her tiny voice "thank you!"  I was shocked. We havent really worked with her on talking and she is just picking everything up.  What a smarty!  She also says "eyes" and points at your eyes.  She knows where her nose is and what her shoes are.  When it comes to food, she is eating pretty much everything.  For several months, her favorite thing was blueberries but she seems to be burnt out at this point.  She loves all fruit and will go to the refridgerator and beg for food!  I cant seem to keep enough food in her belly.  She is still nursing once or twice a day.  I dont offer but dont refuse.  I think she is weaning herself slowly, which I am ok with.  

Harper's little personality brings so much joy to Scott and I.  She is constantly happy and loves to wrestle with Scott or sit in my lap and snuggle or look at a book (which she wants to hold).  She babbles constantly and I dont think I have ever seen a baby as verbal as she is.  She speaks in whole sentences of gibberish.  

We went on our first vacation with Harper to Florida.  I will try to write another blog soon.  Gotta go!  

The Mommy Score Card

Should I induce?
Should I have a c-section?
Epidural?
Home birth or hospital birth?
Breastfeeding or formula?
Vaccinate my child or no vaccinations?
Stay at home or work outside the home?
Am I a bad mother because I dont get to participate in mommy groups, mommy and me yoga, library time, music class for baby, mommy and me swimming, etc?
Do I smile at her enough?  Talk to her enough?

I recently read a blog somewhere that talked about the mommy score card.  I thought thats such a clever way to put it.  I never really thought about it like that but all moms and probably dads do it.  Its like I add a plus or a minus to everything that I think I am doing or not doing. 

Here is my scorecard on a regular day:
Big ++++ for breastfeeding
++ for making Harper's baby food
Big fat minus minus minus because I work outside the home, plus add in some guilt.
Slightly smaller minus because I had an epidural and I feel like a wus.
A minus here and there because I miss out on fun stuff like mommy groups and zoo time or whatever.
I usually have several plus's and minuses throughout the day for being patient or not being patient.

I say this in no way to be offensive or to sound judgmental.  I have many "minuses" that often try to outweigh the pluses.  I guess this is why being a mom, however you do it, is the hardest job you will ever have.  I wonder what my friends "scorecards" look like and how we can stop keeping them!  I am striving to let go of the feelings that are not productive in my daily life.


I thought this was a nice way to think about things. 
 

Imagine a great Oak Tree. It knows where it stands,
and it holds powerfully to its position. But it
doesn't defend its position -- it's simply *there*.

You can drive a car into the massive trunk of the
...Oak Tree, and the car will be smashed while the tree
remains standing. It's not standing *against* you, and
it doesn't take your destructive behavior personally.
It just remains rooted... focused... present.
Unconditionally.

Now imagine that *you* are the Oak Tree... How does it
feel to be so powerfully positioned? Isn't it nice to
know that no one can uproot you? Would you even bother
to resist? Or would you simply relax and enjoy being
right where you want to be?

Next time you feel "uprooted" by your child's
behavior, emotions, or any other conditions, remember
the unconditional presence of the Oak Tree. Stand
rooted in the ground of infinite Well-Being.

There is nothing to resist... All is well.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle

I blinked and Harper is almost 10 months old

Harper is such a joy!  She is crawling all over the house and getting into all kinds of things.  We have already fished out dog food, cat food (at my moms), and all kinds of other strange things from her mouth.  My floors have never been so clean!  I am constantly picking up little things that I know will end up in her mouth.  Some of her favorite things include playing in the dog water, playing with the springy doorstops, and digging through a laundry basket that is full of paper and other items that I am trying to sort through and get rid of.  She will play in that basket for 30 minutes just pulling things out and spreading them all over the floor.  Harper is talking and making all sorts of noises and sometimes what sounds like words.  She still shakes her head at us and now knows to crawl a little faster towards the dog water if I am coming up behind her.  She is still sharing her paci with us and tries to share her food. 

Speaking of food, she LOVES it.  Her favorite thing is probably blueberries.  I cut them in half and she eats them right up.  She loves blueberries, carrots, sweet potatoes, zucchini, pears, mangos, apples, all kinds of squash, etc.  I have given her some meat like ground beef and chicken and she will eat it but isnt real sure about it.  I dont puree anything anymore and despite not having any teeth she does really well.  I am enjoying watching her feed herself and stop when she is full. 

Harper is still in our bed, which is ok with us.  Since I am still breastfeeding, it makes it MUCH easier on me when she wakes up at night.  I dont have to walk across the house to get her.  I keep telling myself that someday she will sleep through the night again but I dont have any guarantee when she will do that.

I hope that by writing this blog I will keep up with all of the tinhgs I will forget someday!  I havent written in Harper's baby book in MONTHS.  OOPS.

Getting close to 9 months on the outside

I once heard someone say "9 months in, 9 months out" in reference to a new baby.  I really like this saying and since Harper is nearly 9 months old, I thought I would write a little about my thoughts.  Since I have become a mother, I have changed drastically from what I expected I would be. I think that as a society of mothers (and fathers) we rush everything!  When a baby is born, the world is a big scary place.  If I moved to a different country, would it not take time to adjust?  I think so!  I would be a mess.  I think new moms or pregnant women, including myself, have so many false expectations about bringing home baby.  It is the most wonderful experience BUT it IS HARD!  New mommies wont talk about the fact they cried all the time because they dont want the dreaded "post partum depression" label.   Well, let me tell you, I cried ALOT.  I think we have this picture of bring home the baby, being a little sore, the baby latching on to the breast, classical music playing in the background as you bond with your baby.  That is not the case.  Like I said, it is the most exciting time of your life, but you have never been that tired, breastfeeding hurts, you are sore like you didnt expect, hormones make you crazy, etc.  Every mom is different but these are things i have noticed.  I think if women pregnant with their first babies were a little more informed about these things, there would be far less post partum depression or anxiety and more mothers would breastfeed.  Drs immediately jump to formula if the mother even looks a little stressful.  Breastfeeding is NOT easy in the beginnning like I thought it would be.  Anyways, I think that as a society, we need to give our babies more time to adjust to the outside world.  We are not giving birth to a toddler (thank God) that can just walk around and tell us what they need and somewhat care for themselves.  I was going crazy with Harper not sleeping until I started reading online and MOST babies do not sleep all night for a LONG time.  I thought I was the only sleep deprived working mom out there.  I am rambling but my point is that I am making it a point not to rush Harper and jsut respond to her needs as they come.  If she sleeps in my bed, so what?  If she doesnt sleep, through the night, so what?  (obviously I am writing this after a good nights sleep) Someday, she will be grown up and not want to hang out with me.  Will she be a crippled adult because she didnt sleep all night until she was 1? or 2?  I doubt it. 

So anyways, sweet baby Harper.  She is absolutely the joy of our lives.  She crawls like crazy now.  She is getting faster and faster and enjoys exploring and getting stuck under the papasan chair or in between the table and the couch or a laundry basket.  She smiles almost constantly.  She babbles and is beginning to waive bye bye.  She pulls up to everything including my legs when I am getting ready in the mornings.  SHe has discovered the dog water and is very interested in the dogs.  To our surprise, Simon is actually the best with her.  We are shocked!  I thought Simon would be the one to snap at her.  Rosco and Zeus just ignore her.

She does sleep with us some (dont judge :) ), which started out from sheer desperation after being up all night long and still going to work the next day.  She is a big time cuddler.  Every once in a while, she will wake up for a few minutes and jump around and play.  Its cute for about 5 minutes, then not so much.  She almost wakes up and whimpers and reaches out for me and tries to find my hair.  Like Scott said, "oh, that is so cute" but again, not over and over again.  We have had a few good nights of sleep.  I am just trying to tough it out as long as I can.  I think it is going to be (and has been) a very slow transition to her sleeping all night and in her own bed every single night. 

When I come in for lunch, Harper smiles and jumps up and down.  Its the cutest thing I have ever seen.  We havent had too much separation anxiety yet and I am dreading that.  I still hate leaving her but it seems to be better as long as I have a positive attitude.

Everything is going great!  :)  She is reaching so many milestones everyday and has been on the outside for almost 9 months.  Time to put her to work!

Almost 8 months

Harper is growing up faster than I could have ever imagine.  I swear I will blink a couple more times and she will be graduating college.  She is about 7 and a 1/2 months old now.  She is so sweet!   Any day now and our lives will change forever since she is so close to crawling.  She gets up on all 4's and rocks and has taken a few "crawls" towards something that she wants.  I am excited and terrified at the same time.  She finds every single thread or crumb on the floor and it immediately goes towards the mouth.  AGGGHHH!

A few weeks ago, Harper was sitting on the couch and actually turned and put her little baby hands up on the arm of the chair and pulled herself up!  I couldn't believe it!  I actually got a couple of pictures of it.  She has started pulling up on a lot of different objects that are low to the ground.

She is talking and babbling all the time.  She laughs and giggles when I tickle her with my hair or tickle her tummy or up by her collar bone.

I told Scott the other day that I dont think I ever really experienced joy until I became a mother.  Was I happy before?  Sure!  I was very happy but this is a different kind of joy that comes from somewhere deep within.  When I am home with Harper and Scott, my life is complete.  There are so many bad things going on within my family and extended family right now but when I am with Harper, my soul is complete.

I still struggle with working full time but we have more good days then in the past.  The majority of the bad days happen when I am really stressed about a case, money, washing machine breaking, etc.  I am learning to accept that I have to work and that it will be ok.  I will do my best to contribute financially to our family (and pay my lovely student loans).  Some days are good, some are bad.  I really never understood how much work it takes to run a household once you have a child.  My house is a mess most of the time and when I start to stress about it, I think about what some of the "older" moms I know have told me.  Leave the house alone and enjoy your baby!  I do what I can to keep things going and there are some days where most everything falls apart but other days, we do ok!  However, even on the worst days, when I come home to Harper and Scott, I take a deep breath and let the stresses of the day melt away.  Its like magic.

We are getting very excited about Christmas!  Harper will be getting a big girl car seat (well, 2 actually since we have to have one for both of our cars).  I am sure she will be thrilled.  haha!  I researched the heck out of the issue (surprise, surprise).  I was really stressing out but the decision has been made.  Scott and I are ready to start traditions with Harper and plan to go get a real Christmas tree from the local tree farm this week.  We are going to leave milk and cookies for Santa and all that fun stuff!  I think Harper will be more interesting in the paper and ribbons than the presents and thats ok.  :)

Its been awhile...

Harper will be 6 months old on the 23rd of this month.  Every thing is going great!  No thrush and no ear infections!  I am so relieved.  She still isnt back to sleeping all night but thats ok.  I can live with that as long as she is healthy. 

The last month has been amazing in terms of development.  She smiles all the time.  She is beginning to reach out when she wants someone to hold her.  I am telling you that there is no greater feeling on earth than walking in from work and when she sees me her little face just lights up!  She gets big eyes, smiles with her mouth open and pants like a puppy dog.  :)  I get a similar reaction when I pick her up out of bed. She gets so excited in the bath tub and loves to splash and get toys in her mouth. 

She can sit up all by herself now.  She started out being able to do it on soft surfaces like my lap.  Now she can do it on the floor!  She is so proud.  She is nowhere near crawling but she does move all over me and will try really hard to get to whatever it is that has her attention.

Since Harper spends 2 full days a week with Scott while I am at work, they have had to figure out what works for them.  Recently, Scott put in Baby Einstein and she LOVES it!  I really dont like the idea of her watching TV but I think these videos are great.  And, if it helps them get through the day, thats ok with me.  Scott and Harper seem to be getting along great.  Once in a while, they get out and go to the store together.  I think he likes the fact that people are so much nicer when you have a baby with you.  Lots of smiles and nice comments.

A couple of weeks ago, the pediatrician suggested trying baby food to see if Harper would stay full longer and let me sleep (we skipped cereal).  My brother picked up a couple of organic sweet potatoes and we made them into baby food.  It was actually very easy!  She seemed to love them.  After about 4 evenings of that with no reaction, we took 2 organic avocados and made those into baby food.  She seemed to take right to those as well.  We gave her avocados for about 4 days.  Her sleep may have slightly improved but not all that much.  Her poo started to get a little weird so we quit food for awhile to make sure she wasnt going to get backed up. (she doesnt seem to miss it).  From everything I have read since she is breastfed, she doesnt really have to have food even until she is a year old.  We are just taking it slow.  My own GI problems in the past have made me think twice about introducing foods at such a young age.  I think I may give her some sweet potatoes tonight or maybe even pick something new!  Its funny the things that are suddenly so much fun!

Coming up soon... a trip to the pumpkin patch in her cute butterfly costume (that I made entirely too big of a deal out of) and her 6 month pics with the fabulous Kristen Mackey!

4 Months On Earth

Well, this is Harper's 4th month of life.  We have now over come double ear infections and another case of thrush.  She is changing so much everyday.  She can control her head, neck and back.  She is getting so strong.  She LOVES to stand up and hold your hands.  She can show excitement and squeal!  I think the best thing I have ever experienced is seeing her sweet smile.  She looks right at me and just smiles this big open mouth smile.  I cant even handle how cute it is!  Her most recent discovery is her feet!  She loves to lay on her back and hold them and tug on them and pull socks off. 

I swear this little girl gets to me everyday.  I have always heard about how much a mother loves her children but I cant even explain how much I love her. It is so different than the way you love someone else.  Not to say that I love Harper more than Scott or my own mother but this is something more.  Its almost primal.  I am so attached to her.  WOW!  Sorry for the mush.  I am a big ball of emotions when it comes to her.  Sometimes, I sit and hold her and just try to soak up the moment because I know it will be gone so fast!  I look forward to watching her grow up but I am enjoying every single stage so far.  She is so sweet and those big green (or at least I think they are turning green) eyes just melt a momma's heart. 

So, being a momma has also made me slightly paranoid.  The weird part is that I am not worried about germs.  I dont carry around purell.  BUT, I am terrified of plastics, paint, chemicals, soap, toxins, vaccines, antibiotics, probiotics and pretty much everything else that touches her!  I am trying to push these feelings down and realize that I cant control every aspect of her life but I am trying to be a more eco friendly human being.  So far, we eat only grass fed beef, try to buy a lot of organic food, switched to eco friendly cleaners, cloth diapers, recycle everything possible, and probably other things.  I want this planet to still be a wonderful place to grow up for my children.  I cant control other people but I can control what I do to reduce my carbon footprint.  I have bought some wood toys for Harper as opposed to plastic but then I think "what about the rainforest?"  Its neverending.  I enjoy researching and learning new things so I dont mind it. 

Harper is the best thing that Scott and I have ever done and we are so blessed to be her parents.  We want to raise her to be a happy, healthy, and secure woman.  I dont care what she does for a living or what she wears as long as she is happy.  I want her to be gracious and giving.  To be secure in her body image (something I have to work on to provide a good example).   To be sweet and caring.  To have many friends and to be loyal.  To always remember her faith that Scott and I are going to try to raise her with.  To value her family.  To stop and listen before she acts (something I struggle with).   To smile more than most people.  The list goes on and on...

Just a Quick Note...

Example of how tired a full time working mom (or probably any mom) can be....

So, Scott comes in from work about 12:30 a.m. 3 nights a week.  Well, one night several weeks ago, I guess I didnt hear him come in so it startled me when he came into the bed room and apparently... I sat up and said "CHRIST!"  I laid back down and Scott bent over to kiss me and I said it AGAIN!  The funny part is that I NEVER say that word in that context.  Sadly, I wouldnt have been nearly as surprised if I had uttered some other word.

Next example, Scott and I are lying in bed sleeping and he goes to roll over and I suddenly reach out and grab his t-shirt as if to stop him from rolling over.  I thought it was Harper about to roll off the bed and I was grabbing the back of her sleeper. 

I have been known to talk in my sleep for a long time but not quite like this! 

You are doing WHAT?

So, I think a lot of moms have hang ups about one thing or another.  Mine just so happens to be something rather uncommon.  When I was pregnant, I considered using cloth diapers.  Everyone told me how nuts I was and how I couldnt do it and work full time so I didnt do it.  Scott's aunt Heather used cloth diapers on all four of her little ones and that got me interested.  I have a friend (Nicci) that is pregnant right now and she is going to use cloth diapers when her little one gets here any day now.  For some reason, I could not give up on the idea.  When Harper was about 2 months old I decided to give it a try when I found some CDs (cloth diapers) on sale online.  I ordered two.  When I got them, I was a little skeptical but they worked great.  When we were using disposables, Harper had at least one blow out a day.  Poop up the back everytime.  I dont think we have had a single blow out since switching to cloth.  We have had a few leaks in one particular brand of cloth that I tried but thats it. 

It took about a month to get totally switched over to cloth and I couldnt be happier.  It really isnt hard at all.  And, the cloth diaper world is booming!  There are a million brands including bumgenius, fuzzibunz, Grovia, CuteyBaby, rumparooz, etc. The diapers range from the old fashioned pre-folds like my mom used on me to snap in inserts (resembling a giant maxi pad) to inserts you stuff in a diaper.  There are so many cute colors and prints to choose from.  I defintitely think that one could get very carried away.

For me, I dont mind doing laundry, so washing isnt a big deal.  The major benefits are: SAVINGS!  You can save between 2,000 and 4,000 bucks by using cloth diapers. So far I have spent about 200 and I am using cloth full time.  I would like to continue to expand my stash so I dont have to wash as often but thats still a lot of savings.  Another reason is that you can use them on more than one child.  Most of the diapers I use are one size fits all (they adjust with snaps or velcro) so the diapers Harper is wearing now are the diapers she will wear until she is potty trained.  And her future brother or sister will wear them too.  Benefit number 2:  Each child uses approximately 8,000 diapers and each one sits in a landfill for anywhere between 250 and 500 years.  Thats a lot of poop!  Benefit number 3: No chemicals on baby's bottom.  I have no idea if there is any significance to this but I still feel more comfortable knowing what exactly is on Harper's bottom 24 hours a day. 

I keep worrying that my friends that read this are going to think I am passing judgment on one issue or another but I really am not.  I am just trying to keep track of what works for me.  So, I will do what I want. (insert Napolean Dynamite's voice).

When do I have to stop referring to my babies age in weeks? Harper is 17 weeks old (or 4 months)

4 months old!  WOW!  Well, we started out Harper's 4th month on earth with double ear infections.  At first, I didnt know for sure what was wrong.  She was very fussy in the evening hours but was still sleeping through the night.  Then came the screaming bloody murder.  I think it was on a Wednesday night and she screamed her head off and I just rocked her and cried.  That night, she didnt sleep well.  I took her in suspecting the ear infections and I was right.  I really did not want to put her on antibiotics but I agreed because she was in so much pain.  She seemed be be feeling better about 36 hours later.  Got a little better every day and we finished the amoxicillin after 10 days.  A few days after being off the meds, she started getting fussier and fussier.  I took her back in and the ears were just not completely cleared up.  Dr. McDowell put her on Omnicef for another 10 days and I think we may have kicked it this time.  I take her back on September 10th so we will see. 

These days, Harper is just so much fun.  She can fully support her head and follows objects and people as they move around her.  My brothers like to hold their cell phones up and watch her follow them.  She smiles almost all the time and now squeals with excitement.  She rolls all over the floor and can get herself stuck again the edges of her play gym.  She is just beginning to reach for people when they hold their hands out.  Harper loves bright toys and reaches out and trys really hard to get them in her mouth.  I dont feel any teeth yet but she is drooling and chews on anything she can get her hands on. 

Now, the sleeping thing has become a little more difficult.  Since she had ear infections, she has not slept through the night.  She wakes up and cries until I go in her room, put her paci back in and she goes right back to sleep.  She never even opens her eyes.  About once a night, she wants to nurse, so I feed her, and we go back to sleep.  This makes it VERY hard for mommy to function on early mornings before work but we are making it.  We have had a few nights where we have tried sleeping on the couch with Harper, in our bed with Harper, putting her in the swing, in her crib and nothing works.  The nights seem to be getting better now and I am looking forward to getting a full nights sleep again sometime but I am not going to force it on her.  If she needs me in the night, I will get up.  The CIO method (cry it out) is just not for me.  I have read a lot about this subject and there is research that shows that repeatedly allowing a baby to cry for long periods of time can raise cortisol levels (stress hormone) in the brain.  I also believe that some babies, if left to cry will stop crying not because they learned to "self-soothe" but because they learned that you are not going to listen.  I truely believe that babies cry to communicate not to manipulate.  I do not say these things to cause a riot among people that follow this approach.  In 5 years if you line all of the babies up that were allowed to cry it out or not allowed to cry it out, there may be no difference.  I am not a scientist.  The method is just not for me. 

Enough about that,  before I had a baby, I thought "oh, I will never do this or that" but now I realize that above all, my parenting philosophy is this:  "Follow your gut."  If it feels right to me, I do it.  I think parents get to hung up on schedules and rules that they forget to do what feels right for that particular baby.  I remember in the very early days at home with Harper, she would be fussing and I would say "well, it hasnt been 2 hours, so why is she hungry?"  Well, do we really think that babies have that sense of time?  Maybe, but maybe not.  I gave up on the whole timetable thing and we still ended up nursing about 2 hours anyway and I wasnt staring at the clock.  Now, if you are lucky enough to have a baby that sleeps 4 or 5 hours right off, you might need to watch the clock.  Harper had her own internal clock.

Harper is also starting to recognize people other than Scott and I.  A few days ago, my dad took her abruptly from my mom and Harper stuck her bottom lip out and cried!  I cant believe my baby is old enough to prefer one person over the other . WOW! 

A steep learning curve

I think I am just going to kind of combine the first 3 months into the blog since I am a little late starting.  It makes me smile to think about Harper reading these someday. 

So, I always watch that show "Bringing Home Baby" on TLC and its pretty right on.  Those first few days and even weeks are just a combination of a new parents growing love for their baby, exhaustion, and amazement. 

Harper was a pretty easy newborn in terms of how difficult things could be.  I never had to worry about waking her to eat or anything.  She pretty much wanted to nurse about every two hours.  Scott had a few days off with us and then had to go back to work for about a week and a half before his vacation kicked over for the new fiscal year.  Then he got an entire week off!  I wish I could say that it was such a lovely time of bonding and mushy stuff you see on lifetime movies but I cant remember a thing about that week!  I hate to even admit that. 

So, the ever controversial sleeping arrangements. From day 1, Harper hated her cradle.  It was set up so cute and I was very excited to use it but she was not interested.  She would not sleep for more than 25 minutes in it.  We tried her in the bouncy seat and she slept so much better.  So, for the first 4-5 weeks of her life, she slept in the bouncy seat right next to our bed.  I think she liked the incline.  At 5 weeks, I decided to try her in her crib.  That night she slept 11-4.  And cue the singing angels!  I couldnt believe that.  From that night on, we started bathing her, nursing, swaddling her and laying her in her crib and she would go right to sleep and slept through the night at 5 weeks.  We didnt let her cry or anything, she just seemed comfortable in her own space.  Swaddling has been a must for Harper.  Anytime her arms escape, she wakes herself up.  I used to be vehemently against co-sleeping but now, I dont think its such a bad idea.  I think whatever works for your family is what you should do.  If everyone sleeps better with baby in a bouncy seat, so be it. 

Maternity leave-  As you know, I started a new job when I was about 4 months pregnant.  I told my new employers that I would take 6 weeks off.  I am telling you that was the fastest 6 weeks off I have ever witnessed.  The first 3 weeks were full of newness and fumbling around but as the days went on, Harper and I got into a routine.  I loved every minute of it.  When I came back to work, the first day went really well.  I remember feeling very proud of myself.  The second day, not so much.  I cried most of the day.  I knew I would miss her but I had no idea how to prepare myself for this really strange detachment, depressed, emotional feeling.  I couldnt believe I was at work.  I had to repeat to myself how lucky I was to have my mom and Scott caring for Harper while I was at work.  Definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  (and still is).  My mom watches Harper Monday afternoons and Thursday and Friday from about 8 until 4.  Scott watches her Monday mornings and Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. 

Breastfeeding- If this grosses you out, look away and dont read further.  I decided that I wanted to breastfeed Harper for as long as possible.  Everything went well with a few minor hiccups until the dreaded THRUSH!  If you havent experienced thrush, count yourself lucky.  Most of the time, people notice their baby has white patches on the inside of the mouth.  When you are breastfeeding, it can be passed back and forth,  from mom to baby.  We battled this painful stuff for what seems like forever.  We treated it with Gentian Violet which is a natural remedy that you paint on the inside of the babies mouth (and if you are nursing on momma too).  We sterilized EVERYTHING from bottle parts, pump parts, pacis, bras, etc.  I washed everything in vinegar, boiled everything, and nearly set everthing on fire.  We finally got rid of it!  That stuff is no fun. 

It is seriously amazing how much a baby changes and develops in the first 3 months.  Harper went from a tiny little baby sleeping and eating to a super sweet baby that smiles constantly.

Some of my favorite moments from the first 3 months... looking in her crib and seeing her look up and smile at me as if she is thinking "hey, there you are!", snuggling her on the couch and trying to soak up every moment of her being a baby, watching her pee on Scott's leg as he tries to get her in the the bath, watching her pee on me and smile like it is hilarious, watching my mom with her (seriously she is a great mom and grandma), that first night she slept all night, and so many more.  I may just post random moments as I think of them.

Speaking of Scott, he is such a wonderful daddy.  I was a little worried at first about leaving Harper and Scott alone for 4 hours at a time but they have done great.  After about 2 weeks, they have found their own little rhythm.  It seems to work for them.  He loves being in charge of bath time and always give her bubbles and plays with her.  I think it will be really cute when she can sit up and play  in the bathtub since she loves the water so much.  Scott loves to snuggle her and kiss her on the bridge of her nose and all over her face.  She is starting to give in and just let him get it over with rather than cry at him to stop. 

What a wonderful rollercoaster!  I cant even believe how much things have changed.  I really couldnt be happier (well, unless someone gave me a billion dollars and Scott, Harper and I could just travel the world.)

You Plus Me = Three

So, Harper Elizabeth was born early on a Friday morning.  We decided to go home on Saturday morning.  Scott was up with his bags packed and ready to go by 7:30.  To his disappointment, we were discharged about 11:00.  We packed up our tiny bundle of joy and headed home, to our new home.  It took so long to get home because traffic was backed up because of an air show.  By the time we got home, I was in pain!  I tried not to take any pain meds but I quickly gave up.  When we got home, my 2nd mommy Joyce Wilhelm had left a nice meal of homemade chicken and noodles for us.  Let me tell you... food is the best gift ever for a new family.  I went straight to the shower since I refused to shower in the tiny hospital shower.  Best shower of my life.  For the next several weeks, we had a steady stream of visitors.  I never knew how many people cared about us until Harper was born.  Those first few days home were overwhelming, exhausting, wonderful, and exciting.  I chose to breastfeed so that was a new challenge.  Things went fairly well but we encountered the usual bumps along the road.  We took Harper in to her first dr. appt on Monday.  She had dropped to 6 lbs 6 ounces.  Dr. McDowell wanted us back in for a weight check that Wednesday just to make sure she began to gain weight and for my milk to come in.  By Wednesday, she was up to 6 lbs 9 ounces so she was doing good. 

I was off work for 6 short weeks.  They were the most wonderful weeks of my life.  We enjoyed getting into a routine and Harper began sleeping through the night (although she doesnt anymore but we will get back to that later).  We had lots of visitors and fun!

Biggest surprises for me in those first few weeks:  how so many things came naturally to me, how much longer it took me to completely heal than I expected, how I could actually survive on very little sleep, that I could actually keep a baby alive on breastmilk alone.  What an amazing transition! 

Scott and I were amazed at how we loved her more and more every single day.  Scott was a great help during those first weeks. 

My mom... now I cant say enough about how much my mom helped.  I am 27 years old (I had one week left of being 26 when Harper was born), and when I dont feel good, I still need my momma.  She was absolutely AMAZING during those first weeks.  She was there nearly the entire first week or so, cooking or cleaning and doing laundry. She was never overbearing or in the way.  I dont know how she does it but its like Scott and I say She is MAGIC!  She helped me with Harper or whatever I needed too.  When I would be falling asleep sitting up, she would take the baby for an hour or so and let me sleep.  She even grocery shopped for me once.  Awesome! 

I am thinking my next blog will be just about the first four months or so. Harper is getting bigger and stronger every day and we couldnt be happier!

Rooster Booster Love

So, continued from the last blog... as my due date got ever closer, I was so antsy.  I had trouble concentrating at work or on anything really.  I started doing really weird things like laundry and dishes at 2:00 a.m.  From the beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that I did NOT want to be induced so that made the waiting agonizing.  Most everyone around me had a for sure due date for an induction or c-section.  I dont judge anyone for their birth choices, I just knew that I wanted to wait. 

On a side note, Scott and I sold our first house and closed on our new house and moved in 6 days before my due date.  I will never do that again!  Crazy!

So, on April 22nd (my actual due date), I was so irritated with still being pregnant.  I was at work and not feeling well.  I went down to the chiropractor to receive a pregnancy type adjustment to see if I could go into labor.  Every day, my bosses had become increasingly surprised with my presence in the office.  "Are you still here?" was a regular question.  :)  So, at about 3:00 p.m. on my due date, I decided I had had enough.  I told the receptionist, Brenda, that I was going home to take a nap and hopefully wake up in labor.  So, I drive home, go inside, let the dogs out, and go pee.  I stand up and my water breaks.  I couldnt believe the timing!  I thought for a minute that might not be what happened (stranger things have happened at 40 weeks pregnant).  But then it happened again.  So, I call my mom and she of course is so excited she heads right over.  To complicate things, Scott had thrown his back out the day before and was at the chiropractor when my water broke... and he did not take his phone!  So, luckily the chiro is in the same office building as my office so I called Brenda and told her to run down and tell the dr to go ahead and fix Scott but to send him right home afterwards because I was in labor!  So, I start gathering things around the house while I wait for my mom and Scott.  I had my bag packed but of course, I needed to add some things too it. 

Scott and my mom get to the house, and we head out.  Of course, I have made all the necessary phone calls at this point. We stop at QT for gas and I told Scott get me a big bag of Funyuns and the biggest Rooster Booster Freezoni they had to offer!  I knew I wasnt going to be able to eat once I was admitted so I need to have my last snack.  And, I LOVE Rooster Booster and hadnt had any while I was pregnant because of the caffeine so I was so excited!

So, we get to hospital about 5 pm.  I must make mention here that one of my long time BFFs, Pamela Joyce Callaghan, BEAT ME TO THE HOSPITAL.  It was so funny!  I was there when her first baby was born and she was there for me.  The entire ride to the hospital, my water continued to leak (I had no idea it would just keep doing this).  My mom kept panicking thinking I was in pain and I kept saying "no, its just more water.  So when I checked into the hospital, the nurse wanted me to sign all this stuff, I just motioned down to my now soaked jeans and she hurried the process somewhat. 

After I was hooked up to everything things began to intensify.  I think I started hurting by about 7.  I kicked most people out of the room by about 9 because I was in pain and they were getting on my nerves.  haha!  Too much talking and movement for me at that time.  It was becoming increasingly painful for the nurse to check me.  I had made it to 6 centimeters dialated, when my dr. came up to the hospital at about midnight.  She explained that she had been monitoring the contractions from home and thought I would have progressed fasted since the day before I was dialated to a 3, I was 40 weeks a long, and my water broke.  She  checked me again and said "You are a good 5."  WHAT?  TALK ABOUT THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! I wanted to slap her and say "uh no, the nurse said I am a 6 about 15 minutes ago so now I am an 8."  Also, when she checked me, she said that Harper's head had trapped some water underneath it and maybe that was what had slowed me down.  When removed her hand (sorry if TMI), the trapped water came with it.  And, let me tell you... before this, my pain was gradually increasing and I was definitely getting more uncomfortable.  But when the dr. finished checking me, my pain shot from a level 7 to a level 12 in 1 single contraction.  It was at that point that I lost control.  I really wanted to do it without an epidural but I couldnt even see straight.  I told Scott I wanted the epidural right then. I believe I said several cuss words and then the man of my dreams entered the room... the guy with the epidural.  I dont know what he looked like or what his name was but he sure put me out of my misery.  People ask me if the epidural hurt and I say Heck no!  After that I was very comfortable.  About 3:30, I was ready to push.  I had the absolute best nurses ever.  I pushed off and on for an hour and a half because they had to keep readjusting the monitors because sweet baby Harper did not want to stay on the monitor.  My mom, Scott, and Sara (Scott's mom) were in the delivery room.  It was an amazing experience.  Harper Elizabeth Cresswell was born on April 23, 2010 at 5:06 a.m. weighing 7 pounds 5 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long (according to the pediatrician 2 days later she was 19 inches long).  To be continued...

And It Begins...

Well, I have decided to do it.  Start a blog that is.  I think it will be interesting to see if I can keep up with this considering that I have never been able to keep up with a journal or diary.  As a kid, I bought so many because I was fascinated by the idea and to be honest, they were always so cute.  Little leather books, or cute diaries with hearts on it.  Anyways, let me start by saying that this is my blog to record the happenings of the Cresswell household for our family and friends, both near and far.  So... that being said, I will not be proofreading for grammatical or punctuation errors.  If that kind of thing bothers you, move on and read someone else's blog. :)

So, I will start from the beginning.  (well, the day we found out our family would be expanding)  It was a Saturday morning and I decided it was time.  Time to take the pregnancy test that is.  I had taken other tests since I had been off the BC (birth control) for a while so this time, I had told myself that I would wait until I was really late.  So, I take the test and it says positive.  I was in total shock even though this was something we were planning and hoping for.  I went into the living room and told Scott.  I am not sure he had that much of a reaction (not like on the movies) because he was so shocked.  We wanted to tell our parents immediately but for some reason, I decided that it was absolutely necessary that I take a shower first.  (this was the beginning of all kinds of weird things that I would do as a pregnant person).  After my shower, we went to my parents and told my mom something along the lines of how she would be a grandma in about 8 months.  My dad had already left the house so my mom told him to turn around.  When he got back to the house, we told him about his new title of "grandpa."  He said he had a feeling that is what we were going to say.  Of course, he just smiled and my mom cried.  After the excitement died down, we went to Scott's moms to tell her.  We were standing in the kitchen and Scott said something like " well, I need to get new tires on the car for my pregnant wife."  I am trying to remember that exact words he used.  Of course, Sara (Scott's mom) was so excited! 

And so it began... I was so lucky in those early months and did not experience much nausea.  I remember getting very hungry a lot sooner than I expected that I would.  I did get sick one time and it was due to taking my vitamin early in the morning instead of at night and eating a piece of toast that really scratched on my teeth. :) 

In December 2009, I left my job to accept a position at a small firm that has an office in Owasso and one in Tulsa.  It was truly a gift from God.  In March 2008, I was looking for an attorney job and I sent my resume to Holly Cinocca's office (some of you know her as Holly Breese).  She kindly said she didnt need anyone.  So anyways, in November 2009, I got a random call from Holly saying that her firm was looking for an associate attorney.  I couldnt believe it.  About this time, I was 4 months pregnant and had begun to really struggle with whether or not I could leave my baby and drive an hour away to work.  So, long story short, I met with Holly and the other partners and took the job, which would enable me to cut my commute from about 60 minutes one way to 4 minutes one way.  I gave notice and my last day at my old job was December 15th and I started my new job the very next day. It was hard to transition but I know it was meant to be.  The new job worked out great and I got bigger and bigger. 

In the beginning, my due date was April 24th and at some point it was moved to April 22nd.  I worked all the way up until my due date.  I will continue the story in my next blog...